lablab07

2009-05-28T16:57:00.000-07:00

pls be redirected on this site! :p my newfangled blog!

http://babaenglaitera.blogspot.com

thanks much! :)

mixed signals...

2008-12-05T07:49:00.000-08:00

I want to make you smile as you make me. :) how i wish i could be with you as often as I could, I wish that eternity will permit me to..:) yes.. you're my sunshine after the hardest rain in my life... you're the one who showed me that there's life after all... even though it seemed that he'd taken it all...

I wish you saw my thoughts right through my eyes.. and if You'll ask me what I'm thinking... You are the stars, and I the empty sky...

In me there is a yearning ever flowing, that needs to reach an end that never comes.. It's a hard process of forgetting everything... everything... a process that makes me empty... makes everything around me dull... Yes... I'm not the same person as before... I'm empty...but you changed everything...

You make me happy...
I cannot be myself without you with me...
This is a truth no wisdom ever plumbs..:P.

Yesterday, you laugh, and said that I'm your personal angel, I didn't answer... I don't know what to say then.. and I'm just being careful not to mess up again... not to you... not to the person who had given me everything when I have nothing left even for my self... and to tell you honestly...
that is what I want so much to be... to be your personal angel...

I'm still in the process of mending everything...
I cannot promise you something...
but one thing I can tell you is this:
Bottled up inside of me are the words i never said... the feelings that i hide... and the the lines you've never read...

5 times

2008-10-21T20:26:00.000-07:00

i wish i could live life 5 times over...
then i'd be born in 5 different places, and i'd stuff myself with different food around the world:)
i'd live 5 different occupations...
but then,
for those 5 times...

i'd still choose to fall in love with the same person i love now...:)

hoping

2008-10-19T21:02:00.000-07:00

im confused:(
i dont know what to do right now...
all this time...
i taught that i'm over with what we had...
yet now... i find my self..
hoping...
hoping for some things that wont come true anymore...
i know...
things will never be the same...
maybe i should stop this na....:(

yes! I'm a bitch

2008-10-19T02:35:00.000-07:00

JUDGE ME
and i'll prove you wrong..
TELL ME WHAT TO DO
and I'll tell you off!
say I'M NOT WORTH IT
and watch where I end up!
CALL ME CRAZY
you really have no idea..

call me a BITCH
and I'll show you one!

The Art of Letting Go

2008-10-16T20:35:00.000-07:00

You hug him good-bye like its nothing... While all you wish for to do is hold on forever… But you let go, you just smile and walk off. Then you cry all the way home because you know it will never be the same, because try as you might, you can't make someone love you. Sometimes you have to let them be free... and letting go, that is when love hurts the most of all.

And so it finally happened. Your poor, heart finally crumbled into a little pile of dust and flew away. It was over. You were never going to get someone back. It was time for a little self-respect. It was time to let go. It’s now the time to move on.

You wonder who will you love and who will you see, but most of all you wonder what you’ll be. It seems like yesterday, you had it all and nothing was wrong, but the times are changing and time will come that everything can go wrong... Moving on is simple, it's what you leave behind that’s hard. It’s really painful to say goodbye to someone else that you don’t want to let go, but believe me, its even more painful to ask someone to keep on if you can never make the relationship work out the way it should.

Letting go isn't a one time thing, its something you have to do everyday, over and over again.
To let go isn't to forgot, not to think about, or disregard. It doesn’t leave feelings of resentment, envy, or regret.
Letting go isn't about winning or bringing up the rear. It’s not about pride and it's not about how you come out and it’s not obsessing or dwelling on the past.
Letting go isn't blocking memories or thinking heartbreaking thoughts, and doesn't abscond emptiness, hurt, or gloom.
Letting go isn't about loss and it's not about defeat. It’s not about giving in or giving up.
To let go is not to value the memories, but to overcome and move on. It is having open mind self-reliance in the future.
Letting go is learning and experiencing and growing.
To let go is to be thankful for the times that made you giggle, made you shed tears, and made you mature. It’s about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain.

Finally, letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path and set yourself free.

--my article for our mag (TRUFRENS)

what's complicated and why does it hurt?

2008-10-16T20:02:00.000-07:00

what's complicated and why does it hurt?

it's when you dont know where you stand in a person's life;
it's when you're hanging in dead air and knowing you can be thrown off anytime.
it's when you're like more than friends but not really, and it's like you're lovers when it's really otherwise.

DARN IT!

sometimes you would want to wish to have never met the person at all but at the back of your mind,

you're thankful you have...

alone

2008-10-16T00:41:00.000-07:00

i'm suuuuuper alone...:(
and i hate this feeling....:(
i'm sad, i'm sick...:(
i want someone who'll be just there, whnever i needed him...:(
i'm a damsel in distress and i need some one....
just someone who'll prove to me that not all men are the same...

i hope so....

no boyfriend, and no strings attached with flings policy

2008-10-14T20:46:00.000-07:00

good morning sunshine!:)

i dont know if i'll be happy about everything that's been happening to me right now...
aside from being in an uncertain situation with my studies,
i'm slowly, and deeply falling inlove with this person...
im afraid, everything will be ruined because of this...
look..
i've engage my self in a no boyfriend, and no strings attached with flings policy! (whaaaaattt?)
ahahaha... yes yes yes...
i've made my mind about that, and i intend to do that

i just want to take everything, one at a time...
yet now i'm in a situation that i think, little by little my defenses were being destroyed...:(
damn!
i have to end this before it kills me...:(

BSA? or BSMA?

2008-10-13T23:14:00.000-07:00

dear dear dear oh my!!!!

we just went to UST just to see our grades first hand(although we're expecting that the grades will be complete by then, but... its really early pa, and all the grades are not yet encoded...)
it's super rainy and so gloomy...
i'm sad, i dont know what is ahead of me right now,
i dont know if Im still qualified to take the BSA program or i'll be directed to BSMA! my god!!!!
i hate my college for putting us in this situation!( oh well, i can't blame them fully bec, its my responsibility to study,. but duh!!! cant they see it?? they're the only ones who's making things difficult!!!)
grrrrrrr... i really want to continue what i've started...
i dont want to be an entire failure!!!!!

im half hearted right now...
BSA? or BSMA? :(

finally...

2008-10-13T04:51:00.000-07:00

after everything that had happened between us,
today was the happiest!:P
maybe because today, i learned to let go,
and to this day i must say that i'm completely over with what we had:)
we talked, and thats the only thing i needed to stop this insanity! and i'm happy for him,:)

finally...
aha, goodbye bitterness...:)

BSMA??? (damn accounting!)

2008-10-13T00:15:00.000-07:00

my gahhhhhhhdddd!!!!
i just got my grades,
well, it's not yet complete at this point but damn accounting!
i got a grade of 2.75!
and one thing is,
if i did'nt got a 2.5 grade my opt is to take BSMA course!
:( i dont know what will happen...:((
i'll just keep my fingers crossed that the basis of our grade will be our GWA and not just the mere 2.5 grade in accounting!!!!!!
i hate it!!!!!!

mending, flirting, falling in love...

2008-10-12T21:21:00.000-07:00

"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.”

yes yes... im in a bliss of mending my broken heart and at the same time, enjoying every single moment with HIM... hayyyy... things are running too fast...

i cant say that im completely over with someone in my past yet im now in a whirlwind fling-relationship with some old friends.

i dunno, but i'm just enjoying my freedom,
i know its a very poor excuse but i deserve to be happy right?
and if this makes me happy, then i cant find any reason not to continue this flirting connection. (badgirl!*evil laugh*)

i must say im so scared to fall in love again...
after having consecutive relationships that did'nt end up in a good way...

im afraid to fall for this guy....
yes, we've been friends for so long
since grade 4????
haiiiiii...
i cant let this feelings grow,
we've been best of friends,
and i must act as HIS "bestfriend!"

we're just best of friends
no more no less...
yes...

no more no less....:(

saying goodbye

2008-10-11T03:15:00.000-07:00

I didn't want to let you go, I didn't want our love to
end. I didn't want you to find someone new because I
knew in my heart it would be too hurt to mend. But I did it
I let you go. I let go of all your lies and broken promises,
I finally learned how to say goodbye. I think it is time I let you go, and that is so hard to do because some part of
me will be in love with you for the rest of my life, but the daydreaming,
the running in place.....it's not healthy. So this is me, cutting the cord. This is
me, doing what I should have done two months ago.....saying goodbye....